life in between midtown liquors and club phoenix

so i figured it is a lot more interesting to be blogging about my latest life rather than write a film response on The Rear Window by Hitchcock.
it is now 1:40 in the am and i'm idly sitting on my bed debating: shower or no shower tonight? the bright yellow walls in my room are quite distracting. all my prints and drawings are scattered everywhere since i stopped appreciating them. i don't know

since we all moved into this lovely crack den things seem to be falling apart even more. my landlord got around to changing our locks but now they're just harder to lock than before. i still don't have a desk even though i'll probably use it nothing more than as a designated scatter-pile thing. trapped a mouse that's been shitting all over our counters just to find out we might possibly have two more behind the stove. they've got the nerve to squeek and shit while sharela and i are deep into our conversations about the origin of race(s). we still need to throw the rugs out but we're too lazy. designated a box as the "free box" but it's still chillin in the living room. we don't have a tv but my sweet 17'' macbook has been working its magic.

so my parents are coming to visit me tomorrow and i'm really excited. my mom and little sister visited back in freshman year for my birthday but i had no idea what to do to entertain them. so this weekend should be exciting. plus i can go out since i'm over the flu fiasco. i still can't be sure if i did have the h1n1 or not. if only mt royal medical center doctors decided not to take their sweet ass friday afternoons off i would've found out. i felt like i got hit by a truck for five days and felt constantly high off my ass. just glad that's over.

that's about it.

here we go, 3-0-5

This end of May beginning of June crap has worn me out completely.

I can't remember much. Somehow acquired the attention span of a squirrel and the IQ of a goldfish. I've been confusing thursdays and mondays so I'd be skipping showers for three days and not realized it.
I'm living the life of a true bum. except i have a place to live. and friends that feed me from time to time. I guess a "true hamster" would be the better description. My day usually consists of waking up, eating, tv-ing, reading, web-surfing "stumbling" if you will, and repeat until it hits midnight and i get the special treatment of "human interaction" till further notice. aka beer pong upstairs
My days have been way more productive while looking feverishly for a job in baltimore. Call me picky for not choosing to work for another customer service job, but i had absolutely no luck in finding a job. I didn't even know that was possible. Call me picky for not choosing to walk 5000 miles (although my closest friends do this on almost daily basis) eh. i don't know. i've failed. i messed up real bad. so now i'm going home. but to what? comforting family and friends, a room that won't stink (this is another story), no beer pong for weeks straight, people who refuses to pay money for my art work. i've never felt guiltier. i feel like i've been living way too comfortably and i feel extremely spoiled and naive for thinking that my grand summer plan in baltimore would've worked out. well it didn't so here i go, back to miami. back to my room with the balcony for my smoking pleasures and thieving of neighbors wifi.

i can't wait for letterpress to start in two weeks

So here's another story
I found it while packing
lynley loves the nautilus diner in timonium and so do we
we as in me, kristy, madeline.
the four of us went and enjoyed a nice midnight snack and left
during the car ride back, we decided to smoke while lynley's going at 100000mph.
it was really scary to ash my cig out the window
when it was time to just toss it it flew right back in
except none of us really noticed. until the smell happened
we were so sure that the carpet was burning i saw the flame at the corner of my eyes.
i was about to kill all of us
luckily we were near the campus
when we unloaded ourselves outta the car
we saw that the flame actually burnt this piece of photo envelope
"it smells like camp fire"
"do you guys smell that?"
"OH MY GOD THE CAR SEAT'S ON FIRE OH WAIT! IT'S THE RUG! SHIT SHIT I'M SORRY I'M SORRY"
call me the fire gal
it was funny but too serious to actually laugh. i almost killed 4 people. maybe not that dramatic but still...

when. will. you. crack. whenwillyoucrackwhenwillyoucrack

i can't remember when the last time i sat down to collect ideas thoughts and etc..
i'm sitting here at 240am thinking blankly of what to do for tomorrow's tree drawing assignment.
i went through about four different drawings and i'm just not that confident about any of them.
looking for places to blame, somewhere to shove in every little excuse i've got.
just knowing that if i slip this time there's no coming back literally seriously
there's still much printing to be done, books to be bound, sheets to be pulled, trees to be drawn, responses to be written, papers to be perfected etc etc etc
my mind has wandered off somewhere else, my heart drops for a completely different reason, my body's just waiting for consistency of warmth, the kid in me wants to enjoy a picnic on a sunday afternoon.

why do i do the things that i do?

this is gonna be super vague

but i wish i could really stop
right here
and never of conscious of what's going on ever again

one of those days

i was in a complete high energy mode today
unusually happy
and thought i was making clever remarks when in fact i just ended up insulting the innocent civilians
maybe that's why i decided to cram all the work i can do in two days before the deadline of the show i make so much sense
fuck me and high energy

i got my casablanca back
oh sweet ingrid and humphrey
all this in the midst of crazy stopmotion shoot

in other news
i got no art work to post up yet
started on many things, haven't finished any
two more days until they're all due
5 .5 more weeks till we're out
about 2 month till summer class
i just never want to stop

transition (book class midtern)

screeeeeeeprints

Biggest Joy of My Life

probably the smartest investment i've made all week too

latest art

compilation of things we stole and more

this has been fun

Winter Break Last Day

spent the first two weeks worrying about modernism final
bugging the hell outta virginia adams and my advisor
thinking of fighting back through grade appeal
gathering an army of people to bring adams down
hahaha turns out i actually didn't fail the class
adams never emailed me back
felt stupid and embarrassed for another week
and that's how i spent the three weeks of winter break
talking on the phone with a friend saying it over and over again "we're gonna kick ass this semester"

the last week of winter break i tried to fit in everything that i can do in a week
painted a bit
made stupid collages
sketched random things a bit
made plans that never fell through
oh i finished crocheting and sewing together two pillows
had lunch dinner here and there
got a haircut
talks with friends and cigarettes that i'm hoping i break away from some time soon
ate way too much
two meals a day with everything i can stuff myself with
i saw myself walking into jo ann fabrics and i seriously looked like a hippo hahaha
shallow thoughts worries

thought i should have a closure to this
winter break blogging

Winter Break Day 23

just reading some monologues

5 days till mica

Winter Break Day 20

so i realized that my scanned files are the size of africa

i'll come around to fix them some other time

lately i've been just diggin through my old highschool artwork

those bnw photos are from my basic photo class

i was given assignments, specific things i had to photograph

my favorite assignments were light and shadows, edges, and ambiguous spaces.

i always felt like my photos were bland because i always focused so heavily on creating snippet compositions from already existing space. i wanted to push the ambiguity and obscurity in compositions to further question how i perceived space.

i feel like i had a hard time trying to gather my ideas in this class because i didn't feel the need to motivate myself even until the end of the year.

i'm not the best printer when it comes to bnw photos either

but these photos are precious to me.

i continued bnw photography at mica too. i ended up being a ghost in that class too.

i want to continue photography!

8 days till mica (i was counting down wrong)